NonAlcoholic Dumb Eggs On Spoons Wearing Briefs
by Canadian Phil
Summary: VIVA LA BAM. Tim shows Ryan just how much he loves him. SLASH. Ignore the title XD


"Let me go!" Tim whined.

"Not until you tell me what you're doing." Ryan smirked, pinning his lover to the bed.

"I WAS trying to get my shirt out of the fucking drawer and then YOU tackled me and broke my neck." Glomb whined, struggling against the stronger man.

"Liar." Ryan grinned, leaning into Tim's collarbone, nibbling and kissing it slowly.

"Fuck, Ry, I'm going to be late."

"Fine by me." Ryan held Glomb down so he couldn't move.

"Ugh. You're an asshole. Please let me get up so I can go to work." Tim asked, semi-politely.

"Do you HAVE to work today? I just wanted to hang out today." Ryan stuck out his lower lip and nuzzled into Glomb's neck, whimpering and begging for him to stay. Glomb finally just laughed.

"Sweetie, I'll be home soon, I promise; But right now, I have to go to work before I get fucking fired."

"It's not the SAME though!"

"You sound like a fucking two year old, you know that, right?"

"Pwease stay? I'll be good, I pwomise!" Ryan stuck his lip out farther and bugged out his eyes. Tim groaned.

"You know I want to, but please, I have to go, baby. I promise that I will make it up to you when I get back home, ok?" Tim noticed Ryan's crestfallen face, but Ryan did get off of him to let him get ready. Glomb got dressed in record time and gave his boyfriend a kiss. "I love you, and I'll be home in a few hours, ok?"

"No it's not ok." Ryan pouted. "I want you to stay here, with me." Glomb sighed and wrapped Ry in a hug.

"Baby, listen. I swear to god I'll be home in a few hours. Just go hang out with the guys or something. But put clothes on first and take a shower. I don't think they'll be too happy with you just wearing those boxer briefs and smelling like old cheese. They just don't love you like I do." Glomb smiled and kissed Ryan again.

"Fine. But I'm going to be miserable ALL day."

"Not all day, I promise. I love you, see you later." With one last kiss, Glomb ran out to his truck and drove off to work, leaving Ryan to mope around and make his own breakfast for a change.

"God I hate bacon and eggs." Ryan turned up his nose and spooned the food into his mouth.

Glomb's smile was about three feet wide as he drove on to the outskirts of town. He was looking for the store and was thinking he might be lost, when his phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Hey Glomb, it's DiCo."

"Hey Deec, what's up?"

"Not much. How's your stomach?"

"It's fluttering." Glomb laughed.

"What time do you want us all to meet up at your place?"

"About 7? I'll feed the poor, starving caveman at home and then I'll at least have something to throw up."

"Don't be so fucking nervous, you're making me nervous."

"Ha, well, ok DiCo, I'll see you tonight."

"See ya man."

Glomb hung up his phone then slammed on the brakes. Good thing there was no one behind him. He pulled into the parking lot, stepped out of the truck and made his way into the store.

"Hello there, can I help you?" A tall, blonde woman asked him.

"Yeah, I'm looking for a very specific ring." Glomb smiled again. "I pre-ordered it about a month ago."

"May I have your name and a piece of identification please?" The woman took his driver's license and went into the back room. Glomb's face was shining; he couldn't believe he was doing this.

"Sir, did you order anything else, besides your ring?" The woman, whose nametag said Judy, requested.

"Huh?" Glomb thought hard. "Oh! A watch! I ordered that watch, too."

"Here you go sir." Judy handed over his boxes. "Now, we take debit, cash, Visa, MasterCard…"

Glomb quickly handed over his credit card, signed his receipt and ran outside to the truck. He threw it into drive and headed over to Bam's house. He knew Ryan wouldn't be there, Ryan was just going to sit around at home, sulking and pouting. He pulled up the driveway and jumped out of the truck, running inside.

"ANYONE HOME?"

"GLOOOOOOOOOMB!" Raab shrieked and jumped into his arms, hugging him. Glomb laughed.

"Dude, come on now."

"Did you get the ring? Let me see it! Let me see it!" Raab let go of Tim and jumped up and down.

"Jesus fucking Christ! I'll show all of you, where is everyone?"

"GUYS GET THE FUCK DOWN HERE! GLOMB'S HERE WITH THE RING! HURRY UP!"

"GLOOOOOOMB!" DiCo ran at him, pulling him into a quick cuddle.

"Hey Glomb!" Bam slid down the banister and gave him a hug.

"Tim!" April squealed and ran up from behind him and kissed his cheek. Phil smiled and gave him a hug.

"Where's everyone else?" Glomb asked, beaming.

"We're here. Novak just pushed me into the fucking wall." Rake muttered, high-fiving Glomb.

"You deserved it, sweetheart." Novak smiled and slapped Glomb on the shoulder.

"I'M GOING INSANE OVER HERE!" Raab yelled.

"Patience, dear." DiCo smiled and wrapped his arms around Chris' waist.

"Ok, well, I have the ring and the watch, but I'm thinking about saving the watch for Christmas. I don't know yet." Glomb explained as he opened the box for the watch, first.

"Whoa, that is a nice fucking watch." Bam drooled over it, clearly jealous.

It was a stunning, Swiss titanium watch with a beautiful platinum inlayed design. It had a black, simple leather strap with a titanium clasp.

"You think he'll like it though? I didn't know if I should go for the carbon fiber dial or the grey polished one. I decided against having it engraved, too."

"This carbon one looks amazing. Very dignified." Phil threw in a big word.

"Thanks Phil. But since it's for Ry, should I have gotten the other one?" Glomb joked and everyone laughed.

"IF YOU DON'T SHOW ME THAT RING I WILL KILL YOU!" Raab demanded. Tim reached in his pocket and pulled out the small silver and black velvet box. He pulled back the lid and everyone gasped.

The ring was simple, yet sleek and distinguished. It was a titanium, dome shaped band and had the words 'Love, Tim' engraved inside.

"Dude, that's perfect!" Raab stared, getting misty eyed.

"Hey April, you should get me one of those." Phil admired and looked at his wife.

"Sorry Phil, they don't sell them in size gianormous." Bam said, making everyone laugh again.

"Tim, it's wonderful; and I cannot wait to be there when he says yes." A lone tear fell from April's eye, and Glomb swept her up into a bear hug.

"I wouldn't have it any other way; but I seriously think that I'm going to throw up." Tim smiled nervously.

"We're all here for you Timmy-boy." Novak grinned and Glomb gave him a hug in exchange.

"Raab? You ok?" Everyone heard DiCo say.

"Hey Glomb, if I kill Ryan, will you marry me instead?" Chris smiled, jokingly as DiCo glared and hit him.

"Nope, sorry kid." Glomb checked the clock that was hanging on the wall. "Fuck, I have to go cook. I'll see you guys at 7?"

Everyone nodded and smiled, giving out one last round of hugs and smiles as Tim jumped into his truck and drove home. He couldn't stop shaking; he was so incredibly nervous. He pulled into the driveway, undid his seatbelt and the front door flew open.

"FINALLY!" Ryan jumped into his arms and kissed him. "Can you make supper? I'm fucking starving!"

Glomb shook his head and draped his arm over Ryan's shoulder.

"Sure baby. What do you want?"

"Macaroni and cheese."

"You've got to be kidding me."

"What?"

"You do realize you could make that yourself? In 10 fucking minutes?" Glomb raised his eyebrow and his lover shrugged.

"You cook it better."

"A MONKEY could cook Mac and Cheese!"

"Yeah, but he'd probably throw his own shit in it." Ryan grabbed the pot from above the stove and the box of macaroni from the shelf as he set them on the counter for Tim to cook for him.

"I passed by Bam's place on my way home. They're all going to come over for a few drinks later. Guess what that means!" Tim smiled as wide as he could.

"I have to shower? Aw, Fuck Tim!"

"Get in there. I'll finish cooking this shit." Glomb smirked at Ryan as Ry dawdled on his way to the bathroom. Glomb poured the noodles into his pot of water and heard the shower turn on. Finally, the yellow sludge powder was stirred into the cooked pasta and he dished it out. Ryan came walking out of the shower in just a towel.

"You forgot clothes babe."

"I don't want to get cheese on them." Ryan spoke, wisely.

"Well hurry up and eat so you can put some fucking clothes on. It's already Six-Thirty."

"So sorry your highness."

"No worries, peasant. I have something for you though."

"Present?"

"Yup."

"What is it?"

"Guess." Glomb smirked.

"A Hippo."

"Nope."

"A doggie?"

"Getting warmer."

"Seriously?" Ryan looked puzzled.

"Nope. Keep guessing."

"Just tell me you goof."

Glomb smiled and pulled the watch out of his pocket and handed the box to Ryan.

"It's shiny!" Ry's eyes sparkled. He slowly opened the box and gasped. He lifted the watch out of the velvet holder.

"Oh Tim…" Ryan was speechless.

"Is it ok? I didn't know if I should get black or grey."

"Oh god, it's perfect!" Ryan got up and kissed Glomb, putting the watch on.

"Looks good to me." Tim's eyes sparkled at Ryan.

"I love you babe." Ryan kissed him again.

"Glad you like it. Now eat your fucking dinner so you can get dressed and show that thing off."

The two ate their supper quickly. Glomb, who had finished his small portion first, put his plate in the sink and went to change into some nicer clothes. He had just finished putting on a clean shirt when Ry walked into the room, shed his towel and started rummaging through the clothes on the floor, looking for something that didn't stink TOO badly. Glomb threw a clean pair of pants at him.

"Wear these ones with a CLEAN shirt."

"Do I have to?"

"Yes you do." Tim smiled and kissed his lover. Ryan pulled on the clothes and then, the doorbell rang. Tim's stomach did a back flip, and then he went to open the door.

"Hey Glomb." DiCo and Raab smiled at him. They both looked great in simple jeans and t-shirts.

"C'mon in guys." Tim beamed and stepped out of the doorway.

"TIM, YOU SEEN MY BLUE BOXERS ANYWHERE?" Ryan shouted from their bedroom. DiCo and Raab smiled at each other then raised their eyebrows at Glomb.

"BOTTOM DRAWER!" Glomb blushed and yelled back.

"FOUND 'EM!"

"DICO AND RAAB ARE HERE!"

"HI GUYS!"

"Hey Ry." The two guys called to him.

"C'mon, in and have a seat." Tim guided them to the living room and asked if they wanted something to drink.

"I'll have some sort of non-alcoholic drink today." Raab said. DiCo and Glomb stared at him, wide-eyed. "Ha! Your faces were priceless! I'll have a beer."

"Same here." DiCo shook his head and leaned on his boyfriend's shoulder. Glomb had just handed them their beverages when the doorbell rang again.

"TIMMEH!" Novak exclaimed in his best South Park 'Timmy' imitation. Novak, Rake, April, Phil and Bam all flooded themselves into the house. Ryan finally emerged from the bedroom.

"Hey Dunn." Bam smiled at him and gave him a hug.

"What was that for?"

"Missed ya." Bam smiled, his eyes flickering. "Heeeey, nice watch!"

The little party got into full swing. Everyone was talking with each other and laughing; everyone was shooting Glomb anxious glances and everyone was admiring Ryan's watch, which he was 'subtly' showing off.

"But it DOES snow in Canada!" Raab was arguing with Rake.

"Yeah, but not ALL the time!"

"But it's CANADA!"

"It's CANADA, not ANTARCTICA!"

"It snows JUST as much there!"

"Raab, you're an idiot." Ryan said, everyone laughing at poor Raab.

"It snows there year round, and I will PROVE it." Raab spoke, intoxicated.

"How do you put UP with him?" Rake smiled, rolling his eyes at Brandon.

"He's dumb. I love Dumb." Bran smiled at his lover who promptly punched him in the leg. Glomb rubbed his stomach. He'd have to do it soon before he wussed out. The room got a little quieter as everyone got into a group discussion about Viva La Bam.

"I don't think I can take you guys anymore," April smiled, "But I guess if you keep doing nice things for me, I'll live." Everyone laughed.

"Hey Ry? Can you help me out in the kitchen for a minute? We'll grab everyone some more beer." Glomb's voice shook like crazy, but Ryan didn't seem to notice. Everyone smiled at each other, April and Raab had tears in their eyes already.

"Sure." Ryan and Glomb walked into the kitchen. Glomb wrapped his arms around Ryan and kissed him deeply.

"I love you, Ryan."

"I love you too baby." Ryan smiled. Tim's hands shook like mad.

"Do me a favor?"

"Sure, I guess. What is it?"

Glomb slid his hand in his pocket, pulled out the ring box, and slowly bent down on one knee.

"Marry me?"

Ryan's eyes filled with tears and he grinned.

"Of course."

Glomb's lip quivered as he stood up, kissed his fiancée, and slid the ring onto his finger. A loud sob came from behind Ryan. He turned around to see all of his friends standing in the doorway, half of them were crying. April was sobbing into Phil's shirt. Ryan lost it and started blubbering, running into Bam's arms and hugging him. Glomb wiped his eyes and gave DiCo a huge hug.

"Congratulations, Ry." Bam choked out, grinning widely with tears flowing down his face. Ryan couldn't speak. Instead he hugged his lifelong friend again before throwing his arms around Ape and Phil.

Raab had joined DiCo and Glomb and they were all entangled in a group hug, crying.

"I'm so happy for you guys." Raab beamed, crying.

The next thing everyone knew, they were all hugging in one big clump; crying.

"I propose a toast, pardon the pun." Rake smiled, holding up his beer. Everyone else followed suit. "To the happy couple."

"TO THE HAPPY COUPLE!" Everyone else chorused, clinking their bottles together.


End file.
